Jen (The IT Crowd) x Amy (Doctor Who)
by gingefiction
Summary: Jen Barber comes face to face with Amy Pond of the Doctor Who universe. Things happen.


The TARDIS accidentally materialised in the IT office at Reynholm Industries, Amy stumbled out.

"Amy!" The Doctor shouted, Amy calling after him. This was not meant to happen. Hearing the commotion, the only person in the office was Jen Barber. She emerged from the office to find a worried looking Amy.

"Um…hello?" Jen said.

"Listen, I'm not supposed to be here," said Amy, flustered and worried. "I need to get back to the Doctor or"

"Woah, hold on." Said Jen, interrupting her. "I recognise you. You say you're looking for _the doctor_?"

"Yes, and if we don't find him then million of lives are in danger."

"So…you're Amy Pond then? I know who you are, you're Karen Gillan, the actress. I'm Jen." Jen said, smiling.

"Who's Karen Gillan? I'm Amy Pond like you said, how do you know my name?" said Amy, slightly angry, a bit impatient.

"Alright, does Doctor Who ring any bells?" there was a pause. Amy looked confused. "…TV show? …BBC One? …Matt Smith?"

"What are you on about? We must have drifted into some form of alternate universe…" Amy said, still worried.

"I…think you might have let it get to your head, darling." Jen said, slightly amused by the turn of events.

"Have a bit of sympathy here, will you?!"

"Okay, okay. It's just all a bit surprising, that's all."

"Listen, I see you've got computers, and I think I have a way I can get in touch with them." Amy said, having calmed down a bit, but still talking fast.

"What, is Rory there too?" Jen said, still smiling.

"How the hell do you know all this?" Amy said, anxious again. "I suppose you know about the TARDIS too."

"Well, honestly everyone in Britain knows what the TARDIS is." Jen said, confidently.

"Oh this is bad, I can't walk around this place with everyone somehow knowing who I am!"

"Okay look, I'll go along with this. You said you needed to use a computer. Well, I'm awful with them. In fact could you help me with mine? I've got no fucking idea what I'm doing wrong." Jen said, strolling into her office in her black work suit and skirt.

"Not exactly high on my list of priorities right now, but I'll try I suppose." Amy said, following her in.

"Still haven't got the hang of working out how to get these things to work. Any ideas at all?" Jen said, not hopeful.

Amy bent down.

"It's not plugged in…" she said.

"Oh for God's sake. Why can't I get the hang of this?" Jen bent down to sort it out. There was an unexpected and embarrassingly loud ripping noise.

"…What was that?" Amy asked.

"OH SHIT!" Jen shouted. "I've ripped this bloody skirt!" She tried to stand up, the skirt kept falling down. "For fuck's sake…oh I'm sorry to do this to you Karen…I mean Amy, but I'm going to have to take this off." Jen said, clasping it at either side.

"Um, okay. If you must." Said Amy, a little uncomfortable. Jen pulled down her black skirt oddly slowly, revealing her white pants. Amy couldn't help but look, you need to get used to a sight like that in awkward situations like these.

"Are you sure you're okay with this?" asked Jen, stepping out of the skirt in her black high heels.

"Yeah, I'm fine. Let's just…try not to think about it."

"Yes, good idea. Like that idea. Why don't we try Roy's computer."

"Yeah." Amy said, awkwardly. "Let's do that."

As Jen walked in front of her, Amy couldn't help but stare down at Jen's rather shapely bottom.

"Man I wish I had an arse like that…" Amy muttered to herself quietly…but not quietly enough. Jen turned round.

"What was that?" she said.

"Oh god, did I say that out loud!? The last thing I need is for this to be even more awkward."

"No it really is fine. Is my arse really that nice?" Jen said, rather flattered and shaking slightly.

"Well…it's just…." Amy stammered. Jen gave a small smile. "Yes, it's perfect." Amy eventually said. "I'm seriously jealous. I have a husband and I wish I could treat him to something like that. I mean, look at mine." And without a further word, Amy began whipping off her even shorter skirt.

"Oh." Said Jen, rather surprised.

"Oh god, sorry. I didn't mean to make this worse." Said Amy, ashamed of herself.

"No no, go ahead, it'll be less awkward if we're in the same position I think."

"Yes, that it is completely true!" said Amy, almost delighted. She quickly pulled down her skirt and turned round to display her slightly smaller and rounder behind, covered by only thin pants, also white. "See? What the fuck is that as a reward for saving my life?" said Amy, edging towards anger.

"Amy, that's a GORGEOUS arse!" said Jen in her high-pitched but friendly voice.

"You really…think so?" asked Amy, not entirely convinced.

"Yeah! If I were married to you I'd be delighted! ('If only…' she thought to herself) I mean look at that gorgeous shape…" Jen said, edging closer.

"Well, that's um…very thoughtful of you." Smiled Amy. There was a short pause.

"Listen," said Jen, smiling. "I don't mean to get too personal but, what else do you like to do for your husband each night? I mean, I'm not exactly what you'd call a virgin, so if you need help then I can give you a bit of advice."

"Oh no, this isn't right, I should be figuring out how to get back to the Doctor!" said Amy.

"Oh come on, that can wait. You trust him to deal with things, don't you?"

"Totally."

"Well then, let's hear what your lucky husband gets each night." Jen said, almost whispering and smiling. Amy hesitated to respond. She eventually smiled and said:

"Well, I like to tease him, and then when the mood is right, I'll strip off very slowly. It gets him rather excited, in a cute way. Or at least I think it does. It's very difficult to tell how he feels sometimes. I can't tell if he wants more or not. I treat him like shit sometimes, and I have no idea whether he finds it sexy or insulting."

"…Do you feel confident around me?" asked Jen, hopeful.

"I do now!" said Amy, they laughed a little.

"Would you mind awfully if I asked you to show me how you go about it? I've always been interested in how other women do it." Said Jen, now rather excited, but hiding it well.

"You mean…strip off right now? Here? When I should be figuring out what to do?"

"Only if you're comfortable with it, Amy. I just want to help."

"…Okay! Do you have music?" Jen could not contain her excitement. She almost clapped with joy.

"God, do I! I have Marvin Gaye, is that the sort of thing you normally use?"

"Fuck yes!" said Amy. "Rory loves that!"

"I don't have a husband, but I've been in several relationships. They ALWAYS like Marvin Gaye." Jen slipped the CD in. As she bent down, Amy stared in amazement at Jen's bottom again.

"Um…If I'm going to do this," said Amy, now feeling slightly nervous, "would you mind showing me your…amazing arse?"

"Fair enough I suppose, have a good look." Jen turned round and slid down her panties, revealing all. Amy simply stared in amazement for about five seconds, for some reason finding herself ever so slightly aroused. "Are you done yet?" asked Jen.

"No…" said Amy, sounding as if she was in a trance. Jen turned her head round.

"You know," said Jen, "I think you fancy me a bit."

"Oh, no! I have a husband, I'm…" Jen gave Amy a look. "…a little bit bisexual, yes."

Admitted Amy. Jen pulled up her pants, giggling.

"Come on then," she said, pressing play on the CD, "show me how it's done!"

"Okay, stop me if you don't like it." Said Amy. The stripping began.

She started by slowly unbuttoning her top giving a highly flirtatious wink to Jen. Jen mimed a kiss, making Amy smile even more. She then slowly removed it, revealing her bra. As she undid it, she swayed her hips side to side in time with the slow, sexy music. She would be removing her skirt at this point, but that was long gone. As she let her bra slip off, she covered her dainty nipples with her arm. Jen subconsciously licked her top lip.

"This is you teasing me is it?" asked Jen.

"This is how I would tease Rory yes." Replied Amy, failing to hide that this was all about Jen, giggling. She turned round, the panties were the last to go. She slowly slipped them down, hiding her parting with her arm.

"Oh come on, I showed you mine!" said Jen, highly flirtatiously.

"Okay, fine!" said Amy. She revealed her delicate, smooth bottom. Jen saw her opportunity. She got up and, to Amy's shock, gave it a great big spanking.

"THAT Amy, is how sexy your arse is." She said.

"Th-thank you Jen!" said Amy, her knickers round her ankles. "I've noticed you're fairly bisexual too!"

"Of course I am, keep up Amy!"

Amy suddenly felt a wave of confidence rush over her.

"Okay then, I've done my bit, now it's your turn Jennifer!" she said, facing Jen and still covering her nipples and vagina. "We're not even halfway through the song!"

"I certainly will, but first I want to see more from you Amelia!"

"Oh no, please! I don't feel ready!"

"Fine, enjoy the show." Said Jen, miming another kiss.

Jen removed her rather sexy black work suit, followed by the white t-shirt she wore underneath. Amy noticed that Jen's breasts were somewhat bigger than hers.

"Oh god, those are gorgeous! So much nicer than mine!" said Amy.

"Stop saying that! Your breasts are beautiful, and I'm sure the nipples are a sight for sore eyes!" hinted Jen.

"No, please, you get naked first!"

"Okay, I will." Said Jen. She removed her bra, but did not cover her nipples. Amy gazed at her breasts.

"Those are…Jesus Christ!" said Amy.

"Well you can't have a go on them without both your hands, can you?" Jen said, winking.

"Oh alright, here are my breasts." Amy moved her left arm down to her vagina, assisting the other in covering it up. Her dainty nipples were on display to a highly aroused Jen, who decided to say: "God, I'd love a night with those in my hands…"

"Jen!"

"Oh god sorry, I don't know how far you're prepared to go with this…"

Amy hesitated.

"I'll go as far as you want. Just…come on! Take your panties off!"

Jen smiled, then turned round and responded to Amy's request. Off they slid, and so the pair of them were naked. There was just one thing left to be shown from each of them.

"Okay, who's first to show their pussy then?" asked Amy, now rather shy and ashamed of herself for not using the appropriate terminology.

"We'll do it together. By the way, I love your legs!" said Jen, a little anxious herself.

"Oh thanks! Yours are really sexy too." Another pause.

"Alright, on three." Said Jen. Amy braced herself. "One, two, three!" They removed their hands, and simply stared. They were desperate for each other now. Both vaginas were hairy, but not too much to clearly see the parting into which they both secretly wished to insert their tongues into. After a while, Jen walked behind Amy, in only sexy black high heels. She pressed her naked body against the back of Amy's and swayed slowly from side to side to the music, deliberately trying to work her way as far into Amy's bottom as possible. "Well Amelia, let me tell you something." Jen said, Amy sighing in pleasure. "No man has ever made me feel more sexually excited. I have to say, I want you pretty badly right now. Tell me, do you feel the same about me?" she said, moving her hands down to cup Amy's vagina, subtly attempting to masturbate her. Amy sighed again, strongly aroused.

"Take me!" she shouted, clearly desperate for Jen's sexual company. She turned around and they began kissing, tongues edging deeply into each other's tasty mouths. They lowered themselves down onto the floor, still snogging, and crossing their legs around each other. They tried to pull themselves in closer, but it was not possible. Here they were, having heated sex. Before they knew it, they were on the floor, licking each others faces and laughing.

"Care to play with my tits?" asked Jen, eager for more.

"Fuck yeah!" said Amy. She played with Jen's tits like a child who had just got themselves a brand new toy. Jen gave several sexy moans.

"By the way," said Amy, breathless from pleasure, "I've been around a bit, the Doctor can do anything. To cut a long story short, we don't need protection. I'm clean of anything that would make STDs possible! Isn't that crazy?!"

"Go on then," Jen said, "have a lick!"

"I LOVE YOU!" said Amy. She lowered herself down and began to messily lick and suck Jen's vagina. Jen was shrieking in pleasure now. She gave Amy the same treatment, and Amy came rapidly. Jen lapped it up instantly. They were having the time of their lives with not a single regret.

"I've always fancied you," said Jen, "please hump me. I don't have any dildos I'm afraid."

"Who the fuck cares!?" shouted Amy in excitement. They climbed on top of each other. Amy humped Jen's wet pussy with her own. They were noisy. Shrieking in pleasure all afternoon. Hours and hours of squalid sex and not a care in the world.


End file.
